Jai Maa the Self/Guru/That,
Thank you for the Knowledge of what it means to be a Karma Yogi revealed to me through the teachings of Bhagavad Gita.
When Lord Krishna was “teaching humanity how to be humane and how to deal with our own suffering “ I felt so ready to receive this roadmap to a way of living free from an almost constant anxiety and pain, from confusion and fear. When I first came to Vedika I heard that I suffer because I do not know my true identity, who I really am – and that seed of inquiry has slowly been awakening from its long dormancy and seeking the answers, seeking the Knowledge.
The study of Bhagavad Gita has been an ever-expanding practice of surrender and learning/ practicing radical acceptance. With every verse I find myself in Arjuna, in his initial brokenness, anguish, confusion. It has been so liberating to accept myself as a seeker of the Highest Truth and like Arjuna surrender to being taught and guided by the Bhagavan himself. I no longer doubt that my life has a meaning because I have Shraddha in the perfection of the Divine Orchestration which is everywhere and in everything. I see myself belonging to Satyam and learning how to live it, how to play my part in the totality that is Ishwara.
The Karma Yoga teachings, especially the Verses 46 and 47 have truly changed how I see myself and act in the world.
As we were studying the Purusharthas I realized that Artha and Kama were never really dominant pursuits in my life, that I would very often be driven by Dharma – by wanting to support life in its myriad forms and do what is right to do. I do not have any regrets but without the Knowledge that was yet to come there was this sticky sense of failure and shame when I looked at my life and made futile efforts fulfill the Artha and Kama Purushartas. Moksha seemed way beyond my comprehension – and its promise of Purnam and Anandam out of reach for a mind not able in that state to discriminate better. It was hard to remember that I am a Spirit, the Infinite Being and not a failing human bound to go on suffering.
It was the teaching that the Infinite always contains the finite – the boundless flood-like body of water containing the pond -that set me free. I learnt that the Dharma Moksha contains Artha Kama and that I have not lost on anything . It was only my erroneous notion that there was something wrong with me, that I am lacking in some essential abilities. It was this newly gifted knowledge that led me to decide to take a stand against my habituated fear response to anything pertaining to Artha and to attend a Business Mastery Tony Robbins week-long workshop with Shiva and Yasha. Everything about it was challenging and yet also rewarding – and now if I get to do something in a business realm I will do so with that awareness that I am enough, that Dharma Moksha is my orientation and nothing is missing. Another paradigm shift happened when Verse 47, the ultimate verse, was revealed and it all became so clear. Very often my sincere efforts would all be in vain, at least in the “worldly” way, and I would judge myself on the results. I would do my best and then berate myself for failing to reach the goals or have the perfect outcomes.. Verse 47 was a revelation - if what I offer is my sincere, full-hearted effort and if Ishwara is in charge of the results of my intentions and actions , then it is like a beautifully orchestrated dance between my individuality and Ishwara’s totality. I have free will to strive for the best and I have used it for that purpose time and time again. If it was Ishwara’s will that my efforts be not met with much success then it was not that I failed. On the contrary, I got to practice doing the right thing for the right reason and not be discouraged into lowering my standards. My outlook on my entire life so far has changed. I am able to see its goodness and my own value, my strength. There are many ways in which I contributed to the wellbeing of others – human beings, plants, animals , the environment – in the ways that were completely unseen and that knowing is my own version of success and applause. I understand now that keeping my focus on the Adrishta, on the Divine Law can and will lead me to Moksha. My spiritual “muscles” trained over decades now get to be used by the far more enlightened Buddhi and a heart that feels like singing.
With deep gratitude,