When I just started my journey at Vedika, I had a lot of Tamas (an unconscious quality of the mind that creates inertia). I never had a fixed time of going to bed, I would not wake up on time and felt completely drained in the morning. Many a times, I would not take bath and even skip meals. My existing medical condition, my erratic schedule, and my mental state were not supporting the Ayurvedic herbs that I was taking for my health, and I felt more and more depressed.
So when I started this year of self-healing at Vedika Global, I came in with two burning desires; One was to be able to put myself on the right track in terms of my mental and physical health, and the second was to be able to learn this amazing science of life called Ayurveda.
I had initially put a lot of pressure on myself and was trying to do a lot things at once. I wanted to follow all the dinacharya (daily routine), ritucharya (seasonal routine), and vinay (student protocol) teachings to perfection, and failed quite miserably. What helped me at this point was when one of my teachers, Aparna ji, shared her journey and told us to pick up one practice at a time. Just like an ocean is formed from several tiny drops, you build up an ocean of change in yourself by droplets of change in habits and thoughts.
I learned how important our daily routine is in meeting a balance of doshas (fundamental constituents of the body) and gunas (psychological qualities) in our mind. I have been able to inculcate a few practices in my life. I wake up almost at the same time daily and I drink some warm water in the morning, I never miss taking a bath. I am regular with my morning prayers, which is the time I ground myself. I eat on time. And before going to sleep, when my mind is rambling, I do Bhramari (a special type of yogic breathing exercise).
Nine months ago, I felt like I was walking in a dark tunnel. Today, even though sometimes I still feel like I am walking in the same tunnel, instead of looking at the darkness, I see a light at the end of it, and I am working hard to to be there. This knowledge has brought about subtle mind level changes, and I see that I enjoy very small, yet vital, things in life. Bright colors attract me, flowers make me happy, and, most importantly, I have gone back to writing. This knowledge has also given me the lens to see the dirt within and help me cleanse myself from it.